So my business coach recently convinced me it was really OK to call my free eworkbook, 10 Ways to Make Cancer Suck Less. The former name of the eworkbook was 10 Ways to Reduce Unnecessary Suffering During Your Cancer Journey. Uh huh…too long, I know.
I was telling my coach that the title of the workbook is really important to me…I want to convey exactly what I’m offering in the workbook. I would feel insincere giving it a title that suggested it would offer something to make cancer better. I mean, let’s face it…there is nothing I can do that is going to make cancer easy for people, to make them have peace of mind during cancer treatment, or to make cancer effortless, painless, or trouble-free. I said to her, “Cancer sucks. I can’t make it not suck, but I can help make it suck less.”
And that is basically what the workbook offers…ways to make cancer suck less. The idea is to help people manage the problems that are often “piled on top” of cancer, and to manage the difficult emotions that accompany the cancer journey. That’s when the idea for the new name for the workbook came into being, at which point I said, “Can I really call it that? Can I really say ‘suck’ in a title?” and she said, “I would!”
Then we talked about how, as an every-day person, I’m much more “human” (or maybe even “edgy”) than how I portray myself as a counselor/therapist. As a counselor, I sometimes use big words. As a human being, I sometimes use bad words. As a counselor, I say “appropriate” things; as a human being, I sometimes say (and laugh at) inappropriate things. As a counselor, I talk about how to do the “right” things for yourself; as a human I sometimes do the wrong things, then try to learn from them.
I realized that somehow my personality has gotten squelched a bit in the process of trying to be “professional” in how I convey myself to the world as a therapist. I used to think that was necessary in order for people to see me a certain way and trust that I could help them. Now I’m realizing that I need to be more authentic in my work, which means that my personality will come through in my “professional” stuff and in my “marketing,” whatever that may entail.
I will, of course, always keep appropriate boundaries for my profession, but allow the more “human” side to come through. I want to de-mystify therapy and therapists. I will need to share my stories and the things I’ve learned (sometimes from mistakes), and I’m hoping people will come to trust me because I’m being more authentic, and not pretending that therapists/counselors are somehow un-human, as is sometimes conveyed in TV shows and movies.
So yes, I use the word “suck” in my daily life, as well as a few other choice words from time to time, especially when it comes to cancer. And while saying the word “sucks” in my material might offend some, I’m thinking that most people will agree that cancer sucks. As I wrote in my eworkbook introduction, “Sometimes there isn’t any other way to explain it, or another, more sophisticated verb that fits better.” Those who don’t think that cancer sucks have probably not had cancer.
I’m hoping that what I write in my newsletter and blog will help you, even in some small way, to make cancer suck less. And I hope you’ll let me know what types of information you need or questions you have toward that end.
Photo Credit: Michigan Tech Camera Club